Health Anxiety & Me

As I stated in my previous post, a lot of my anxiety is based around my health and over the years many of my anxiety symptoms have been physical which has then led to the typical mental anxiety symptoms. I now try to ignore the physical symptoms or tell myself it is just anxiety when they start but as all of you with anxiety will know, it really isn’t that easy. My body throws new weird and wonderful symptoms my way all the time which to me are an obvious sign of major illnesses, but turn out to be nothing but my mind playing tricks on me.

My first physical symptom was severe pains in the top of my head which would only last for a few seconds at a time but would scare me half to death. I was convinced that I had a brain tumour or an aneurism that was about to burst and I wouldn’t get to see my children grow up.

After many visits to the doctor I was eventually referred for an MRI scan which showed absolutely no problems at all, and with that knowledge the pains virtually disappeared overnight.

I then had a lump in my breast, obviously breast cancer I thought, but no, after having a scan I was informed it was a simple fatty lump (like I need more of those)!!!!

At different points throughout my anxiety journey I have had different health concerns, I have been convinced there was problems with my heart, numerous ECG tests have proved otherwise. I’ve also thought I have had diabetes, thyroid issues, parathyroid disease, I’m not going to lie, if there is a major illness I have been pretty convinced I have it. Cancer is my number one worry, and any new pain or symptom my mind straight away jumps to a cancer diagnosis. I think this is due to the fact both of my parents and all 4 of my grandparents have had cancer.

As I said before I try to ignore symptoms as they appear as in my logical mind I know it is just another manifestation of my anxiety, but as anyone with anxiety will tell you it really isn’t that easy. Catastrophizing and overthinking are two of the things we are the best at, and as much as I try I really struggle to put the major illness/death thoughts out of my mind.

I wanted to write this post to maybe help others who feel the same way realise that they are not alone as I know a lot of people who go through health anxiety few the same way. We each just have to try and find a way of coping with it that works for us, I haven’t found mine yet but I am determined I will get there.